The Consortium of Scalpulavakiia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Jub Besh with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, parental licensing program, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 6.606 billion Scalpulavakiians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dukry. The average income tax rate is 31.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Scalpulavakiian economy, worth 664 trillion Consumebucks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 100,629 Consumebucks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Billions of Consumebucks are being blown on orbital weapons development, textbooks are exactly twice as heavy as they used to be, matryoshka dolls resembling nested Death Stars are commonly sold, and many are questioning Jub Besh wearing an Eckie-Ecola baseball cap during a keynote speech. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Scalpulavakiia's national animal is the Bull, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Consumerism.

Scalpulavakiia is ranked 18,791^st in the world and 46^th in Lands End for Smartest Citizens, with 64.95 quips per hour.