Most Ignorant Citizens: 970thMost Primitive: 1,051stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,347th
The Peoples Republic of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Another Day Another Doller
Big Francis
Influence
Apprentice
Chief Executive Officer
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Hansa Federation

Population2.885 billion

CapitalNew Lubeck
LeaderBig Francis
FaithEmoism

CurrencyCrayons
AnimalBurgers

The Peoples Republic of Hansa Federation is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Big Francis with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, frequent executions, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.885 billion Emoes are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Administration, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Lubeck. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Hansa Federationian economy, worth 388 trillion Crayons a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 134,611 Crayons, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 760,599 per year while the poor average 11,697, a ratio of 65.0 to 1.

Classes are regularly interrupted by drunken children, maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, the treehouse in Burgers Park is the tallest building in Hansa Federation, and it is illegal to liberate slaves. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Hansa Federation's national animal is the Burgers, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Emoism.

Hansa Federation is ranked 269,765th in the world and 289th in Lands End for Smartest Citizens, with 0.4 quips per hour.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 970thMost Primitive: 1,051stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,347thNudest: 2,235thHighest Crime Rates: 2,343rdMost Devout: 2,510thMost Avoided: 2,586thTop
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,898thMost Influential: 2,996thFattest Citizens: 3,157thLargest Retail Industry: 3,259thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,318thLargest Gambling Industry: 3,577thLargest Mining Sector: 3,597thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,330thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,875thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,206thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,921stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10,358thLargest Black Market: 10,837thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,109thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,413thTop
10%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 16,284thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 17,772ndMost Efficient Economies: 18,764thHighest Average Incomes: 19,982ndMost Cultured: 21,250thMost Subsidized Industry: 21,907thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 24,975th
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 2nd in the regionTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionNudest: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionMost Devout: 8th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 9th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 11th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 11th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 11th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 11th in the regionMost Avoided: 12th in the regionTop
10%
Fattest Citizens: 15th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 16th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 18th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 18th in the regionLargest Black Market: 20th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 21st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 21st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 24th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 29th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Hansa Federation was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, it is illegal to liberate slaves.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, the treehouse in Burgers Park is the tallest building in Hansa Federation.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, classes are regularly interrupted by drunken children.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, most academic research has ground to a halt.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, you need two tenors and a coloratura contralto to sing the national anthem properly.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, it's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, only "purebloods" are allowed in the nicer parts of town.
  • : Following new legislation in Hansa Federation, shell-shocked refugees are made to provide Immigration with lively renditions of 'Dancing Queen'.

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