The Colony of Tea Jol is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, ruled by DJ Moyer with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful population of 9.781 billion Tea Jolians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Snake Island. The average income tax rate is 90.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Tea Jolian economy, worth a remarkable 2,253 trillion kronor a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 230,369 kronor, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

The government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress, DJ Moyer has promised 'power to the puppies', new safety regulations require all cars manufactured in Tea Jol to be bombproof, and young schoolchildren pledge allegiance to One Nation Under Bum Indivisible By Poo. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tea Jol's national animal is the Boa constrictor, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tea Jol is ranked 2,401^st in the world and 43^rd in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 137.31 law-abiding acts per hour.