The United Socialist States of Bloni is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Prosci Lumi with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.855 billion Blonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hamache. The average income tax rate is 93.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Blonian economy, worth 334 trillion Balonis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 117,050 Balonis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Demand for gourmet white truffles is on the rise, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet, it is said that the captain goes down with the ship but ecological protection goes up, and Prosci Lumi can often be seen hanging around playgrounds chatting with the kids. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bloni's national animal is the Turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Bloni is ranked 319,954^th in the world and 555^th in Starlight for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -14.9 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.