The United Socialist States of Bloni is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Prosci Lumi with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, stringent health and safety legislation, and labour-free parental leave. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.99 billion Blonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hamache. The average income tax rate is 93.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Blonian economy, worth 371 trillion Balonis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 124,212 Balonis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Graffiti graces every city's streets, ministers are now allowed to put suggestions in the governmental suggestion box, defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were, and UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bloni's national animal is the Turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Bloni is ranked 6,340^th in the world and 36^th in Starlight for Nicest Citizens, with 41.04 average smiles per day.