The Commonwealth of Zepolmar is a massive, cultured nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and irreverence towards religion. The quiet, industrious population of 1.545 billion Zepolmarians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zepol. The average income tax rate is 9.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Zepolmarian economy, worth 59.6 trillion rontas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 38,556 rontas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly, doctors refer to inner-cities as newbie zones, city-dwellers are forcibly moved to farming communes in the countryside, and money can't buy happiness but it can buy immunity to prosecution. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zepolmar's national animal is the seal, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Zepolmar is ranked 119,863^rd in the world and 258^th in Starlight for Highest Drug Use, scoring 134.97 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.