The Stoat-Controlled Bureaucrat of Ban Oldern is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Doje Kryqu Rykan Wystwnlyq III with a fair hand, and remarkable for its national health service, daily referendums, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.308 billion Banolds are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hjuin. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Banoldi economy, worth 133 trillion Oleris a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 101,800 Oleris, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens cannot change their light bulbs without approval from an international committee, the question of 'what is Doje Kryqu Rykan Wystwnlyq III's favorite color?' has been given a priority rating of burnt-orange, kids these days know how to throw a proper punch, and polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ban Oldern's national animal is the Phoenix Catfish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Kanisan Folk Religion.

Ban Oldern is ranked 21,179^th in the world and 71^st in Refugia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.9 law-abiding acts per hour.