The Democratic People's Republic of T0rtvga is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Chief Hunting Hawk with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, avowedly heterosexual populace, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 4.725 billion T0rtvgans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Welfare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Rez. The average income tax rate is 77.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish T0rtvgan economy, worth 152 trillion Quetzals a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 32,313 Quetzals, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The 3rd Airborne Beekeepers are the most feared regiment in the T0rtvgan military, cows graze until the wolves come home, "Darwin's Disease" is a growing cause of death, and funding for education has been redirected into the military. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. T0rtvga's national animal is the Thunderbird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Heya Hoyaism.

T0rtvga is ranked 53,862^nd in the world and 84^th in Fifth Empire for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,846.67 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.