The United republic of Polonialia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by His excellency Matt with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, compulsory military service, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, devout population of 4.527 billion Polonialians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sawnia. The average income tax rate is 42.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Polonialian economy, worth 719 trillion Złotans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 158,933 Złotans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons, extraordinary rendition is nothing out of the ordinary, military spending is on the increase, and anyone with an emergency on a holy day is advised to pray harder. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Polonialia's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Polonialia is ranked 215,087^th in the world and 607^th in Europe for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -4.58 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.