The Technocratic Republic of Hatzelia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Premier Mizai with a fair hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.028 billion Hatzelians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Centralis Hatzelia. The average income tax rate is 50.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Hatzelese economy, worth 53.2 trillion Toris a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 51,778 Toris, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Eminent domain has been abolished, surrogate mothers are encouraged to refer to their wombs as 'rental space', the government loves seeing the little people fight, and cash-strapped Hatzelians scour their bodies for fortuitous zits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hatzelia's national animal is the Raven, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Hatzelia is ranked 60,759^th in the world and 987^th in The East Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 70 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.