The Kingdom of Kyratistani is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Secretary Riti Nynriti Gyaltso with an even hand, and remarkable for its lack of airports, fear of technology, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 16.406 billion Kyratistani are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Banapur. The average income tax rate is 98.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kyratistani economy, worth a remarkable 2,183 trillion Kyrati rupees a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 133,086 Kyrati rupees, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Young adults still believe that Himalayan monals deliver newborns to expecting parents, when people want to start a family the government helps them planet carefully, people say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces, and students learn how to disarm mines before understanding basic arithmetic. Crime is totally unknown. Kyratistani's national animal is the Himalayan monal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Vajrayāna Buddhism.

Kyratistani is ranked 96^th in the world and 4^th in Forest for Most Primitive, scoring 647.18 on the Scary Big Number Scale.