The Socialist Republic of Cuillin is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Madame Self with an even hand, and notable for its soft-spoken computers, pith helmet sales, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful population of 28.716 billion Cuillinish have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Red Clydeside. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Cuillinish economy, worth a remarkable 5,099 trillion work credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 177,583 work credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

The government airlifts sacrificial lambs, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, left-wing militias train children how to properly burn down banks, and Cuillinish scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack. Crime is totally unknown. Cuillin's national animal is the Giant Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Marxism.

Cuillin is ranked 8,240^th in the world and 18^th in Forest for Largest Populations, with 28.7 billion capita.