The Intensive Care Unit of Candlewhisper Archive is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by Dustin B Twinnears with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, sprawling nuclear power plants, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 24.126 billion Archivists live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Archivian economy, worth an astonishing 11,576 trillion slightly manky dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 479,851 slightly manky dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,876,529 per year while the poor average 36,287, a ratio of 79.3 to 1.

Restaurant owners fear visits from government officials more than the actual food critics, the country is littered with broken homes, space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Candlewhisper Archive, and blocked storm drains cause sanitation problems. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Six-Toed Ugly Dolphin-Octopus Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is New Clear Scienceology.

Candlewhisper Archive is ranked 1,571^st in the world and 7^th in Forest for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 9,731.35 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.