The Federal Republic of United States of Medford is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Lewis Von with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and smutty television. The compassionate, humorless, devout population of 13.747 billion Medfordians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Newice. The average income tax rate is 86.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Medfordian economy, worth a remarkable 2,964 trillion Medford Dollars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 215,682 Medford Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Construction workers evacuate work sites after finding sharp rocks on the ground, moonshine has made a resurgence, coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list, and fat-shaming is now public policy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United States of Medford's national animal is the Medford, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church Of Medford.

United States of Medford is ranked 2,627^th in the world and 132^nd in The North Pacific for Highest Food Quality, scoring 258.1 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.