The Federal Republic of Calahy is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Federal President Caroll Eigen with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, unlimited-speed roads, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.02 billion Calahians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darmschtadt. The average income tax rate is 75.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Calahyian economy, worth 341 trillion Marks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 169,189 Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Federal President Caroll Eigen has been seen stealthily slicing fifths off bread loaves, it is illegal to make racist remarks in public, Federal President Caroll Eigen's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards, and cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calahy's national animal is the Double-headed eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Protestantism.

Calahy is ranked 13,510^th in the world and 657^th in The North Pacific for Highest Food Quality, scoring 141.44 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.