The Kingdom of Terra Celtae is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Fionnbharr Ó Corráin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.689 billion Terra Celtaeans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pergius. The average income tax rate is 91.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Terra Celtaean economy, worth 628 trillion Punts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 170,419 Punts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Armoured pyjamas are in fashion amongst the nation's nobility, games of cops and robbers typically end in at least one fatal shooting, chemical burn victims tan their scars summering at luxury beach resorts with huge cash settlements, and potatoes are known for their lead aftertaste. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Terra Celtae's national animal is the Fear gorta, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Terra Celtae is ranked 288,540^th in the world and 90^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 34.02 on the Kitten Softness Rating.