The People's Republic of Telmauria is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by James Rodney with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, irreverence towards religion, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.806 billion Telmaurians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gondolin. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Telmaurian economy, worth 248 trillion credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 88,599 credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny, juries deliberate more than magic 8-balls, organ donation rates have hit a new low, and invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Telmauria's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Telmauria is ranked 238,991^st in the world and 427^th in The Communist Bloc for Highest Drug Use, scoring 63.29 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.