The People's Republic of Nordgardia is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Ewiger Präsident Timsen with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful population of 23.483 billion Nordgardics are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Timville-Ruhrstadt. The average income tax rate is 97.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Nordgardian economy, worth a remarkable 4,491 trillion Münzes a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 191,257 Münzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People transfer their assets to bank accounts in Manamana before getting divorced, lobotomies haven't been the same after the practice was severed, the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments, and school uniforms are compulsory. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nordgardia's national animal is the Deathclaw, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Nordgardia is ranked 302,009^th in the world and 46^th in United Commonwealth for Fattest Citizens, with 4.25 Obesity Rate.