The Armed United Territory of Dark Alps is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Army General Staff with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, triple-decker prams, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.302 billion Dark Alpsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fox Valley. The average income tax rate is 73.0%.

The powerhouse Dark Alpsian economy, worth 261 trillion Grey crowns a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 113,718 Grey crowns, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

The government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens, families must live in a village for a century before they get any say in how it runs, the latest superhero movie features a caped Silver Fox with adamantium claws, and gambling is outlawed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dark Alps's national animal is the Silver Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholic Church.

Dark Alps is ranked 326,959^th in the world and 46^th in United Commonwealth for Highest Drug Use, scoring 1.77 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.