The United States of Koboldtopia is a mammoth, safe nation, remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 9.918 billion Koboldtopians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 90.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Koboldtopian economy, worth 642 trillion kernals a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 64,770 kernals, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, no one questions why the chicken crossed the road anymore, Koboldtopian police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests, and raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koboldtopia's national animal is the kobold, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Koboldtopia is ranked 116,619^th in the world and 399^th in The Communist Bloc for Highest Average Incomes, with 64,770.17 Standard Monetary Units.