The Commonwealth of Allwarts is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Warton with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 34.097 billion Allwartsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wartovia. The average income tax rate is 19.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Allwartsian economy, worth a remarkable 8,395 trillion Warts a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 246,210 Warts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Families burn President Warton's latest official photograph to keep warm, craps take up a lot of time, chain-gangs are often seen toting barges and lifting bales, and almost half of the child population live rough on the streets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Allwarts's national animal is the Warthog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Church of the All Seeing.

Allwarts is ranked 11,244^th in the world and 179^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 5,064.54 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.