The Commonwealth of Allwarts is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Warton with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 32.236 billion Allwartsians, 27.479 billion of whom are zombies, have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wartovia. The average income tax rate is 23.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Allwartsian economy, worth a remarkable 8,420 trillion Warts a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 245,301 Warts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Allwarts has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world, public incontinence is a growing problem amongst the nation's women, stony-faced prosecutors play loud gangster rap music during court proceedings, and statues of famous citizens are erected or demolished on a purely partisan basis. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Allwarts's national animal is the Warthog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Church of the All Seeing.

Allwarts is ranked 9,172^nd in the world and 71^st in the Rejected Realms for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector, scoring 35,841.82 on the Charon Conveyancy Index.