The Pacific

Oh Roquentin above, even the plot you've given me is tiring ... all I do is wait, try, fail, and wait off the pain of failiure. When I was a child, I waited to be old enough to be free. When I was a young adult, I waited to catch a big break, and my heart was broken each time. Every day I wake up, I'm only tiring myself: I'm working at a job that doesn't care about me, with people that don't care about me, so I can make enough to survive for another uncaring day. I'll probably be doing this until I get too tired to work anymore. Then, I'll burn out my savings and die. My genes will not be passed down, because they are subpar, and I only ever received heartbreak. My second death will never come, because people will not remember me--and I have no unpainful memmories of my own.

For that I will pity myself for the last time. I've been through a lot. There was a time I genuinely tried to find love, purpose, and a legacy. That time was a cycle: I'd gather my willpower, try really hard, ultimately fail, and mope until I could restore my willpower. Honestly, I tried so hard, so many times ... I really did deserve the big break I was waiting for, at least once. But it did not come, and it's okay for me to be a little bit bitter about that.

Oh Roquentin above, you gave me a hard start ...

I'm ready. I'm ready to exist for once. I'm ready to get up again, for the thousandth time.

I'm probably going to fail a lot more. But if there's nothing else of notierity I'll be able to accomplish, then I'll be notable in being the one to get up from failing the most. My life has been painful, because the purpose of life is to struggle. What will last the extinction of humanity but it's collective nostalgia at the struggle?

This is Stevia. A land of harshness that tries to enforce binary: "success or failiure, there is no try." A land that contradicts itself for there is nothing more noble than to have nothing to lose but loss itself. This is all under the sky. A world where there are haves, or have nots: a world where the have nots shall have nothing to lose in pursuing life for the sake of pursuit.

And so, I'm going off to an adventure--I want to fail in as many ways as possible, trying to do as much as possible, in the Great Steppe that will beat me to death very quickly. This is the way I really off myself--not out of pathetic sorrow, at my own hand, but knowing that finding meaning and relevance in an uncertain world of probabilities is a guranteed mortal failiure worth trying. There's a lot of things to do in the Great Steppe: try to restore some of the pollution that exists in the world, curtail the litany of bio-engineered disasters, take in orphans and reach out to the lonely, learn from culture and fix the everlasting hammer of Stevist thought. There's a lot of things to fail at: and if I just keep getting back up, I'll reach some sort of memmorable record for myself before this all ends.

• First things first, join the World Assembly! It's like the United Nations but in NationStates. If you're confused on how to join the World Assembly, this guide should be able to help you out.

• Once you've joined the World Assembly, you can endorse any nation that is also in the World Assembly. It is extremely important for the security of the region that you make sure to endorse our World Assembly Delegate East Durthang.

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