The United Kingdom of Samosil is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Pietro III with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 7.172 billion Samosilians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vascotopia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 39.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Samosilian economy, worth 994 trillion Samols a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 138,636 Samols, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

The seats at the back of the parliament are reserved for indigenous ministers, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes, rumor has it that Pietro III has won three lotteries in a row, and the inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Samosil's national animal is the Cachorro caramelo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Kodailismo.

Samosil is ranked 14,820^th in the world and 23^rd in Portugal for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 57.61 on the Kitten Softness Rating.