Tryzalore

[A mass of static follows as a screen lights up with plenty of fuzz before the picture clears up revealing the One-Armed Emperor. One-Arm then stares out at the lot as a child runs in the background.]

It has been brought to my attention that King Adros's Nephew, also named Andros, has taken a hold of the Secretary of States computer and sent such a request for a Crusade. Andros shall be thoroughly disciplined as we take joy in knowing Divorce is no illegal within the Empire. Glory to God!

[After being slightly offended but also amused by a new Bollywood film, the vicar turns off his plasma TV. Not sure if he should resume reading How Not to Get Assassinated for Dummies, his hand brushes against a large crystal orb labeled "Palantir" on the his desk... his holy sight fades as he sees a vision of Doorlight armies assembling, preparing for war. Priimydia stands back as Doorlight prepares to take over Tryzalore. He also saw many cupcakes being smashed. A holy tear fell down his face.]
Sacrilege, desecration! The All-Father Doorlight desecrates the holy cities of Tryzalore, mocking our sacred religion and threatening our free existence. The people of Kinglanstand are repressed: their civil rights and political freedoms are stripped of them - too much order! This nation exists as a plague to all of us, free or religious peoples. Sooner or later, he will pick us off one by one, and Priimydia will not defend us. To the four corners of the world, I issue this decree(Jaytaria Andiluvia Cowboy Beybladeland Grand Order of Disorder Lanskvones PaiKom Diluvianos The Perfect System Priimydia) : if you would fight for a holy and just cause - if you value your freedom or your religion - then come, let us assemble to prepare for a reclamation of the holy land held captive by Doorlight. Let us unite and cease fighting amongst ourselves. Let our pre-crusade preparations commence. Our summer is nearly at an end!

Silly Goose Wins wrote:

[After being slightly offended but also amused by a new Bollywood film, the vicar turns off his plasma TV. Not sure if he should resume reading How Not to Get Assassinated for Dummies, his hand brushes against a large crystal orb labeled "Palantir" on the his desk... his holy sight fades as he sees a vision of Doorlight armies assembling, preparing for war. Priimydia stands back as Doorlight prepares to take over Tryzalore. He also saw many cupcakes being smashed. A holy tear fell down his face.]
Sacrilege, desecration! The All-Father Doorlight desecrates the holy cities of Tryzalore, mocking our sacred religion and threatening our free existence. The people of Kinglanstand are repressed: their civil rights and political freedoms are stripped of them - too much order! This nation exists as a plague to all of us, free or religious peoples. Sooner or later, he will pick us off one by one, and Priimydia will not defend us. To the four corners of the world, I issue this decree(Jaytaria Andiluvia Cowboy Beybladeland Grand Order of Disorder Lanskvones PaiKom Diluvianos The Perfect System Priimydia) : if you would fight for a holy and just cause - if you value your freedom or your religion - then come, let us assemble to prepare for a reclamation of the holy land held captive by Doorlight. Let us unite and cease fighting amongst ourselves. Let our pre-crusade preparations commence. Our summer is nearly at an end!

We may not have much, (ignore the space laser nukes) but we will stand and fight against these warmongering rapscallions who seek to destroy all that is good and Holy.

Silly Goose Wins wrote:

[After being slightly offended but also amused by a new Bollywood film, the vicar turns off his plasma TV. Not sure if he should resume reading How Not to Get Assassinated for Dummies, his hand brushes against a large crystal orb labeled "Palantir" on the his desk... his holy sight fades as he sees a vision of Doorlight armies assembling, preparing for war. Priimydia stands back as Doorlight prepares to take over Tryzalore. He also saw many cupcakes being smashed. A holy tear fell down his face.]
Sacrilege, desecration! The All-Father Doorlight desecrates the holy cities of Tryzalore, mocking our sacred religion and threatening our free existence. The people of Kinglanstand are repressed: their civil rights and political freedoms are stripped of them - too much order! This nation exists as a plague to all of us, free or religious peoples. Sooner or later, he will pick us off one by one, and Priimydia will not defend us. To the four corners of the world, I issue this decree(Jaytaria Andiluvia Cowboy Beybladeland Grand Order of Disorder Lanskvones PaiKom Diluvianos The Perfect System Priimydia) : if you would fight for a holy and just cause - if you value your freedom or your religion - then come, let us assemble to prepare for a reclamation of the holy land held captive by Doorlight. Let us unite and cease fighting amongst ourselves. Let our pre-crusade preparations commence. Our summer is nearly at an end!

Deus Vult!

Andiluvia wrote:

It has been brought to my attention that Kinglandstan can still outpower all the nations of the world. What are we to do?

In sacred texts, it is written about how pious peoples are outnumbered and yet still prevail. Even so, the Gosling See acknowledges that the might of the Andiluvian Empire is the greatest military match for Doorlight after Priimydia. In the hope of ultimate victory, we humbly request that Tryzalore follow the Holy Emperor's military leaders in this crusade. May his military strategy and advanced weaponry quash Doorlight for the sake of spiritual edification for us all. The Gosling curia and his holiness may not kill under canon law, but we will personally be on the battlefield attending to the wounded and dying. We offer the command of the Gosling Guard to His Highness as well.