The Kingdom of Telia is a large, safe nation, notable for its frequent executions, zero percent divorce rate, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 105 million Telians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 33.4%.

The strong Telian economy, worth 8.12 trillion solids a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 77,333 solids, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Telia as a reminder of their "special relationship", the letters L, G, and B must never be grouped together, the government is pouring money into 'Operation Enduring Democracy', and arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Telia's national animal is the great skua.

Telia is ranked 113,155^th in the world and 1,089^th in the West Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.12 law-abiding acts per hour.