The United Kingdom of Southmen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Anathema with an even hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, smutty television, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 12.426 billion Southmenians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Subterranea. The average income tax rate is 98.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Southmenian economy, worth a remarkable 2,595 trillion pounds a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 208,916 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There's a mortuary next to every Southmenian restaurant, evasive politicians don't fail to strongly commit to not committing to a course of non-inaction, history textbook pages are used as impromptu tissues by distraught students, and you're never too young to learn how to lie with confidence. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Southmen's national animal is the wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is None.

Southmen is ranked 4,060^th in the world and 10^th in Wysteria for Healthiest Citizens, with 21.54 bananas ingested per day.