The Octopolis of Kolyagrad is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Octomayor Kolya with an even hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, humorless population of 22.333 billion Kolyans enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kolyagrad. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The Kolyish economy, worth a remarkable 2,056 trillion Kolyish Guilders a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 92,085 Kolyish Guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners, a common response to government PSAs is "well, DUH, obviously", the news is showing footage of Octomayor Kolya bullying an old man to the point of tears, and dubiously qualified East Lebatuckese doctors prescribe ice baths as a treatment for pneumonia. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kolyagrad's national animal is the Scorpion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kolyagrad is ranked 280,031^st in the world and 371^st in The Communist Bloc for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -6.07 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.