The フェデレーション of Nowa Europa is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Prezydent Iga Świątek with a fair hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, otherworldly petting zoo, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 13.471 billion Nowa Europeans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Silesia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Nowa Europan economy, worth a remarkable 4,805 trillion banknotes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 356,766 banknotes, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

The judicial branch is strongly influenced by major corporations, frequent broken zippers have resulted in safety pins making a fashion comeback, tradesmen will knock 10% off their fees if customers pay cash, and belief that Prezydent Iga Świątek is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high. Crime is well under control. Nowa Europa's national animal is the Water Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nowa Europa is ranked 3,272^nd in the world and 84^th in the South Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2,914.04 pounds of wildlife per square mile.