Buddhism

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Breathing in, I see I have more than enough conditions for happiness.
Breathing out, I have nowhere to go and nothing to do.

What did the Buddha teach about dealing with difficult people in our daily lives?

Fred norris wrote:

What’s your favorite Koan?

One day a monk walked up to Budai and asked, "What is the meaning of Zen?"
Budai dropped his bag.
"How does one realize Zen?" the monk persisted.
Budai took up his bag and continued on his way.

Fred norris wrote:

What did the Buddha teach about dealing with difficult people in our daily lives?

In the Akkosa Sutta, a man named Akkosa found out that one of his clansmen had just become a disciple of the Buddha. Outraged, Akkosa went to the Buddha to give the Buddha a piece of his mind – he hurled abuse and insults at the Buddha, telling the Buddha what he thought of him in no uncertain terms.

The Buddha was unmoved in the slightest by this barrage of insults and just asked a question in return:

“Do you sometimes receive visitors as guests?”

“Yes I do” replied Akkosa.

“And when they come, do you offer them food and drink and courtesies?” asked the Buddha.

“Yes, sometimes I do” Akkosa said.

“So what if your guests don’t accept what you offer to them – where do the food, drink and courtesies return to?”

“They return to me of course!” Akkosa answered.

“Akkosa, you came here today, hurling insults and abuse at me. I do not accept what you have offered. So where do these insults and abuse return?”

—

The Buddha was passing through a village and the people came and they insulted him. They used all the four-letter words that they knew. Buddha stood there, listened silently, very attentively, and then said, ‘Thank you for coming to me, but I am in a hurry. I have to reach the next village, people will be waiting for me there. I cannot devote more time to you today, but tomorrow coming back I will have more time. You can gather again, and tomorrow if something is left that you wanted to say and have not been able to, you can say it. But today, please excuse me.’

Those people could not believe their ears: this man has remained utterly unaffected, undistracted. One of them asked, ‘Have you not heard us? We have been abusing you like anything, and you have not even answered!’

The Buddha said, ‘If you wanted an answer, then you have come too late. You should have come ten years ago, then I would have answered you. But for these ten years I have stopped being manipulated by others. I am no longer a slave, I am my own master. I act according to myself, not according to anybody else. I act according to my inner need. You cannot force me to do anything. It’s perfectly good: you wanted to abuse me, you abused me! Feel fulfilled. You have done your work perfectly well. But as far as I am concerned, I don’t take your insults, and unless I take them, they are meaningless.’

When somebody insults you, you have to become a receiver, you have to accept what he says; only then can you react. But if you don’t accept, if you simply remain detached, if you keep the distance, if you remain cool, what can he do?

The Buddha said, ‘Somebody can throw a burning torch into the river. It will remain alight till it reaches the river. The moment it falls into the river, all fire is gone; the river cools it. I have become a river. You throw abuses at me. They are fire when you throw them, but the moment they reach me, in my coolness, their fire is lost. They no longer hurt. You throw thorns, falling in my silence they become flowers. I act out of my own intrinsic nature.’

- The Book of Understanding by Osho

You may also enjoy the book: Hiking Zen