The Unified Dominion of Teonage is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Premier Ramon Leto with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and aversion to nipples. The hard-working, devout population of 16.085 billion Teonageans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Soccoro Falls. The average income tax rate is 50.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Teonagean economy, worth a remarkable 1,512 trillion Cubits a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. Average income is 94,001 Cubits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government will gladly pay you next Tuesday for a hamburger today, the inchworm that measured the marigolds is six feet under, the examiners who examine examiners are being examined by examiners, and garden stores are not allowed to sell water butts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teonage's national animal is the Scarlet Tatinger, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Solarism.

Teonage is ranked 18,339^th in the world and 580^th in The North Pacific for Longest Average Lifespans, with 90.62 years.