The Militarised Empire of Old Blackwood is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Commander-in-Chief Miles Faraday with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 18.876 billion Old Blackwoodians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ironwood. The average income tax rate is 78.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Old Blackwoodian economy, worth a remarkable 1,750 trillion Foxens a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 92,759 Foxens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Home renovation shows are increasingly popular, funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply, and military chiefs are predicting extra funding in this year's budget. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Blackwood's national animal is the Finch, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Old Blackwood is ranked 9,872^nd in the world and 161^st in the Rejected Realms for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 5,577.39 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.