The Imperial Republic of Lusitanialand is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Don Zé Garibaldi with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 18.577 billion Lusitanialandians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olissipo. The average income tax rate is 83.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Lusitanialandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,491 trillion Espírito Santoes a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Pizza Delivery. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 80,307 Espírito Santoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Rural communities are all but disenfranchised as politicians focus all their attention on winning the deciding urban votes, citizens living in underground cities have developed a healthy green glow, the nation turns a blind eye to human rights abuses in its quest for athletic supremacy, and many aides in Don Zé Garibaldi's office are known to be serial jaywalkers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lusitanialand's national animal is the Sócrates, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lusitanialand is ranked 20,493^rd in the world and 31^st in Portugal for Highest Food Quality, scoring 115.52 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.