The Disputed Territories of Large Eyeballs is a huge, cultured nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, soft-spoken computers, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, democratic population of 406 million Large Eyeballsians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of City of Large Corneas. The average income tax rate is 69.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Large Eyeballsian economy, worth 25.2 trillion Eyeballs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. Average income is 61,961 Eyeballs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Home renovation projects take decades to complete, foreign nations kill migratory animals at random in the hope that Large Eyeballs will pay them to stop, home renovation shows are increasingly popular, and flight attendants rip down curtains with revolutionary fervor. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Large Eyeballs's national animal is the Eyeball, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Large Eyeballs is ranked 73,235^th in the world and 990^th in The Communist Bloc for Lowest Crime Rates, with 69.67 law-abiding acts per hour.