The Republic of Europeia is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its state-planned economy, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.285 billion Europeians are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Welfare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 54.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Europeian economy, worth 36.5 trillion jortcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Basket Weaving, Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 28,410 jortcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Wilderness-dwelling hermits are surprised to find railway stations on their front doorsteps, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, and worried-looking neonatal nurses are being deployed in place of SWAT teams during dangerous drug busts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Europeia's national animal is the sloth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Europeia is ranked 152,324^th in the world and 796^th in Europeia for Highest Food Quality, scoring 15.37 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.