The Socialist Republic of Commie Celadio is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme Leader Rasmus with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, unlimited-speed roads, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.95 billion Celadioans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Örkavi. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 80.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Celadioan economy, worth a remarkable 1,609 trillion Grand Euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 325,160 Grand Euros, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

Crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens, games of cops and robbers typically end in at least one fatal shooting, vacationing Celadioans expect to be treated as royalty, and from the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in Commie Celadio. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Commie Celadio's national animal is the White Wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Non-religious.

Commie Celadio is ranked 327,114^th in the world and 44^th in New United Kingdom of Albion for Least Corrupt Governments, with 16.39 percentage of bribes refused.