The Grand Empire of Valve is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Gabe Newell with an even hand, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, ubiquitous missile silos, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed population of 31.986 billion Valvedrones are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Steam Store. The average income tax rate is 92.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Valvedrone economy, worth a remarkable 2,365 trillion CSGO Skins a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, extremely specialized black market in Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 73,962 CSGO Skins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Perverts across the land rejoice after 'sexual harassment' was recently renamed 'persuasive courting', politicians look weirdly alike, annual Formula One races bring the capital to a screeching halt, and fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valve's national animal is the Freeman, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Gabenism.

Valve is ranked 306,175^th in the world and 102^nd in Portugal for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 22.32 on the Kitten Softness Rating.