The Free Islands of The Coarsal Pirates is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by High Captain Balman with a fair hand, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, daily referendums, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 7.245 billion Pirates live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Law & Order and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blacklake Isle. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Coarsal economy, worth a remarkable 2,589 trillion gold marks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 357,439 gold marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

The police are destroying all photographic evidence of their own existence, the first step of recovery from alcoholism usually entails buying a bicycle, The Coarsal Pirates is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, and politicians tend to jump ship to whichever party is currently leading in the polls. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Coarsal Pirates's national animal is the kraken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Alcoholism.

The Coarsal Pirates is ranked 294,377^th in the world and 11,134^th in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.45 law-abiding acts per hour.