The BETTER THAN U AND U KNOW IT of ROM is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by some dude named jeff with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory vegetarianism, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 28.396 billion Stans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration are also considered important, while Education and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of an abandoned warehouse. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient ROMian economy, worth an astonishing 10,530 trillion Steaks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 370,843 Steaks, with the richest citizens earning 8.6 times as much as the poorest.

The intelligence community is playing 4-D chess with an imaginary spy network, the default state for ROM is default, fair play is a sportsbook refusing to pay what it owes, and most academic research has ground to a halt. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. ROM's national animal is the Dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is dragon worshippers.

ROM is ranked 332,499^th in the world and 1,460^th in Europeia for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -18.53 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.