The Riassi Republic of Riassi is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Emekri Zoulatesh with a fair hand, and renowned for its lack of airports, national health service, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 4.081 billion Riassis are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Riastok. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Riassi economy, worth 786 trillion Auremuses a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 192,540 Auremuses, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Goldilocks has found a lucrative career as a zoning consultant, prices for nearly everything reach all-time highs as business tax breaks are discontinued, social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks, and police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers. Crime is totally unknown. Riassi's national animal is the Walrus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is No Official Religion.

Riassi is ranked 14,606^th in the world and 6^th in Albastru for Nudest, with 221.5 cheeks per square mile.