The Holy Lucky Pink Christmas of Woodlands is a huge, safe nation, notable for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 707 million Cyrinics are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Murky Camp Harbour. The average income tax rate is 77.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cyrinic economy, worth 94.7 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 133,973 gold bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Programmes of questionable content are shown at peak-hours, science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, homophobia is off the menu, and tax rises are attributed to divine will. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Woodlands's national animal is the Rudolph bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Woodlands is ranked 26,695^th in the world and 389^th in Europe for Safest, scoring 110.72 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.