The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and national health service. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 34.793 billion Crazy Firemenians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 96.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth a remarkable 5,334 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 153,310 Brotherhoods, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jaw strain is an increasingly common ailment, mosh pits are a common phenomenon in Firefighter Clemente's political rallies, you can't spell society without CIS, and grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church of the Rising Phoenix.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 8,440^th in the world and 91^st in the Rejected Realms for Most Corrupt Governments, with 170.71 kickbacks per hour.