The United Provinces of Clockwork Lands is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Landmaster Caecilia Clemens with a fair hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 7.69 billion Clockworklandians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coppergate. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Clockworkland economy, worth a remarkable 2,441 trillion vermunts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 317,465 vermunts, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,784,742 per year while the poor average 27,903, a ratio of 64.0 to 1.

Children are often punished for the sins of the fathers, foreign converts are illuminated by both missionaries and helicopter searchlights, legislators must raise their hands if they want to speak, and in a desperate bid for cheap airfare Clockworklandians can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Clockwork Lands's national animal is the sable, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Virtue.

Clockwork Lands is ranked 329,114^th in the world and 187^th in The Kodiak Republic for Nicest Citizens, with 0.19 average smiles per day.