The Most Serene Republic of Wooloo Unitedstrtes is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Jim Pickens with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, frequent executions, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 8.524 billion Wooloo Unitedstrtesians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Novorossilkovo. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Wooloo Unitedstrtesian economy, worth a remarkable 4,481 trillion WOOPS a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is a breathtaking 525,788 WOOPS, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security, this year's comedy award has left mothers-in-law seething, tech-mad citizens think that the laser-powered bread-slicer uPhone App is the coolest thing since sliced bread, and the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Wooloo Unitedstrtes's national animal is the Wooloo, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Wooloo Unitedstrtes is ranked 292,177^th in the world and 1,486^th in Europe for Nicest Citizens, with 0.15 average smiles per day.