The Intensive Care Unit of Candlewhisper Archive is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Dustin B Twinnears with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 18.973 billion Archivists live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Administration, with Industry, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Environment and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Archivian economy, worth a remarkable 8,854 trillion slightly manky dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 466,679 slightly manky dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Orange trees find it's not easy being green, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares, disaster victims are viewed with disdain, and you can bet your bottom dollar that gambling will cost you an arm and a leg. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Six-Toed Ugly Dolphin-Octopus Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is New Clear Scienceology.

Candlewhisper Archive is ranked 277,209^th in the world and 322^nd in Forest for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -12.25 on the Clooney Contribution Index.