The Northern Haven of Anxious and Kevin is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Mikkel Åhlqvist with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, hatred of cheese, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate population of 1.471 billion Anxiousiins are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ansburn. The average income tax rate is 87.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Anxiousiin economy, worth 76.9 trillion Kruskars a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 52,274 Kruskars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend, the new Liquor Legitimacy Office is besieged with job applications from people who have experience in "statistical sampling methods", veteran cops reminisce over their heavy armor days, and people stand their fridges back-to-front to benefit from the free heating. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Anxious and Kevin's national animal is the Svalbard Reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Anxious and Kevin is ranked 287,516^th in the world and 283^rd in Forest for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.46 kickbacks per hour.