The Utopia of Valles Auri is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Lord Imperium with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, state-planned economy, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 3.12 billion Valles Aurians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valeria. The average income tax rate is 66.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Valles Aurian economy, worth 347 trillion Valcens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 111,364 Valcens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Lord Imperium spends most weeknights picking up little nuisances from friends' houses, giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why The Lord Imperium is a silly poophead, the Valles Auri Mental Asylum Party have recently won seats in parliament, and the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valles Auri's national animal is the Blue Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Valles Auri is ranked 312,922^nd in the world and 226^th in The Land of Kings and Emperors for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 21.87 on the Bus Surprisal Index.