The Principality of Townside is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Prince Zackery Carlisle with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 19.344 billion Townsiders have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Borough of the Town Beside the Sea. The average income tax rate is 92.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Townside economy, worth a remarkable 5,179 trillion Townsider Kilogramme Silvers a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 267,739 Townsider Kilogramme Silvers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fraternities are rejoicing at government-subsidized partying, sweat stains are proof of political acumen, selling advanced CPUs to anti-Townside terrorists is no chip on the government's shoulders, and civil engineers are undermining sinkholes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Townside's national animal is the Enfield, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Townside.

Townside is ranked 226,792^nd in the world and 91^st in The Western Isles for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -1.79 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.