The United Provinces of Aeolist is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Cooper Hooper with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, national health service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, devout population of 17.954 billion Aeolistites have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Telic. The average income tax rate is 71.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Aeolistiti economy, worth a remarkable 3,406 trillion Mernas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 189,751 Mernas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Officer recruitment and police brutality have reached an all-time high, employers may fire workers without giving any reason, the Telic Pride Parade's head banner explains how unionizing is heteronormative, and foreign workers are flooding in as Mernas flood out. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Aeolist's national animal is the Aeolistite Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Aeolist is ranked 117,688^th in the world and 2,613^th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 2,063.42 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.