The Government of The Celestial Lands is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tiffany Meier with an even hand, and renowned for its ritual sacrifices, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 33.467 billion Celestians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Universal City. The average income tax rate is 91.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Celestian economy, worth a remarkable 2,365 trillion Bitcoins a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Information Technology industry. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 70,668 Bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event, criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program, only AI know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile, and cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Celestial Lands's national animal is the Arceus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lunacy.

The Celestial Lands is ranked 307,451^st in the world and 16,625^th in Lazarus for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -12.07 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.