The Oppressed Peoples of Statecontrol is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Our Great Leader with a fair hand, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, public floggings, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 5.545 billion Statecontrolians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Great Leader City. The average income tax rate is 87.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Statecontrolian economy, worth 814 trillion dead geeses a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 146,823 dead geeses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All guns must be registered, the 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event, children are often observed making 'sand angels' in bunkers, and the importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Statecontrol's national animal is the panther, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Statecontrolian nationalism.

Statecontrol is ranked 54,916^th in the world and 1,394^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 72.91 law-abiding acts per hour.