The Federal Republic of Fallgriffin is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Maj Gen Greogory Twilight with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, zero percent divorce rate, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 23.1 billion Fallgriffinians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of South NorthWest East Lawndale. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Fallgriffinian economy, worth a remarkable 9,934 trillion chromium kaegyds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 430,065 chromium kaegyds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Fitness to teach sport is proven by urinating the furthest up a wall, the slowest students feel vaguely targeted by their Mendelian Inheritance coursework, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, and Fallgriffin is suspiciously populated compared to its neighbors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Fallgriffin's national animal is the Ferret, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Maj Gen Gregory Twilight warship.

Fallgriffin is ranked 285,030^th in the world and 3,547^th in the West Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 9.04 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.